As a British expat living in Brittany, France, one of the first questions you’ll be asked by another expat within the first five minutes of meeting them is, what do you do for a living? That’s because here the expats are split into the two categories; you have the retired baby boomers who have had nice lives in the UK, sold their British house for a nice tasty profit, bought a des res here in France and have a regular healthy income from UK state and private pensions and who are intrigued by those who actually work in France, then there are the rest of us. Most of us who work here are like me, young families trying to learn a new language and integrate into a different culture. Most of the Brits working here in France seem to be in the building trade, they’ve made a reasonable living over the last 10 years or so working for other Brits while the British economy was booming and the pound was strong against the Euro. However, things have changed over the last few years the strength of the pound has dropped, so all those Brits who have an income in sterling have found that their money doesn’t go as far as it once did. People can’t afford to renovate properties any more and building work is drying up. So when an expat asks you what you do for a living these days, they’re either hoping that you’ve got enough of an income where maybe you can give them some work, or that you’re onto something that they can get into and earn some money that way.
When I tell them I work for a transcription company in the UK, generally the first thing they will say, “oh translation so your French must be really good then”. I then go on to say, “no not translation, TRANSCRIPTION”. Always without a doubt you get a blank look come over their faces, “transcription, what’s that then?” So you explain, about two minutes into the explanation, you can see you’ve lost them, they don’t know what you’re talking about, so in the end I say, “well basically I’m a secretary” that they understand.
When a French person asks me what I do it’s a different kettle of fish, it’s harder to explain in French. They understand transcription, it’s the same word just said with a French accent (try it), but then I have to explain I download work from the computer. Until two years ago, my French wasn’t good enough to do this, that was until I got a job teaching English to French students for 20 hours a week in a local comprehensive school. They taught me the French word for downloading when they were explaining which websites I could go to, to download any pirate music or films that I wanted. The girls then went on to teach me how to ask for hair straighteners in the local supermarket when I had an emergency and went to work looking like a poodle because my GHD’s had broken and I need to replace them pronto, how to ask the hairdresser to put layers into my hair (four years of looking like Nana Mouskouri until I learned that one) and most importantly the words to tell the difference between a Brazilian and a Hollywood when asking for a bikini wax at the local beauticians. They also taught me how to swear in French with a perfect Breton accent. Hopefully they learned a bit from me, they definitely learned how to swear, probably managed to cover the basics of that on day one, they learned of my love for George Clooney and that I think The Killers are the bees knees, and I know for sure that there are a whole bunch of 11 – 20 year olds who are wandering round a small part of Brittany saying, “Now then, are you all reet” in a North Eastern accent. However, the one verb they didn’t teach me was the verb “to type”, five years on and I still don’t know the verb to type. So I start off my conversation about work by saying I download my work, so far so good, and then I go on to say I type it, but I can’t say type, so I mime bashing a keyboard. They think I’m a pianist, no not a musician, then I say which when translated into English is “I hit the keyboard of my computer”, I’ve managed to get round that little problem, but would probably be easier if I learned how to say to type in French. Next though I try to describe it’s market research, I don’t know the word for market research, I’ve never bothered to learn it, every time I have the conversation about my job I make a mental note to learn it but then I forget, and all the time I’m trying to search in my head for the right words to say in French they’re stood in front of me with this patient expectant look on their faces, so as a last resort I say, “I’m a secretary”. “Oh oui”, they say.
Blog written by Nicky Whenman